Insights Day 21

Friday July 31st 2020

2h04 am - Give me some food

Yep, it is a twisted mind. I almost feel like a crazy lady. Oh, wait, perhaps I am crazy. I have this intense urge to eat...I mean I want to go to the refrigerator and eat an apple. While I am happy, I only want to eat an apple I am also wondering what is going on inside this body that makes me want to eat an apple. Is that not sabotage in a twisted way, I know the apple probably won't do much for me, I mean I am certainly not hungry, it is night time. It is as though the diva that is still staying around wants to get me with small gestures until my small gestures become big enough for saton to reside in again. As I am writing these words, I chose to ignore that voice, as much as it would be tempting to have that pink crisp apple, I will stay right here in my bedroom and complete my prayers, my journaling or anything else but lifting those legs to go and sin, communion with my celestial parents is too important to me to cheat on them in this fashion. What is food that I may enslave myself to unite with it? Food can only offer temporary relief, whereas complete communion with G.od...well I don't know about...that is why I must go all the way with a juice, soup, smoothie and or water fast go all the way to where I can go and be with G.od and remain in G.od.

4h02 am - liquids water is my answer

Thank you G.od for still talking to me. I now see and understand what you told me in my dream, I need to drink water...lots of liquids as this is what will save me. That is it, I must do, I need to wash my body, bath my body in water.

I also need to sunbath...I can even combine this with yoga...some push ups and so on...

Currently reading

4:30 am - fell asleep

6:30 am - woke up

I wanted to put myself back to sleep then I quickly realized I was done with sleeping lol

10:45 am I had a fruit meal

I’d say today was a little rough, somehow I don’t like the fact that I am helping some people that are less than grateful for the free work they get

16:30 I took a laxative senna with 11 prunes

I hope to be able to drink enough water to get everything out. My right angle is swollen and painful?!? I need this to stop. I am a little tip off. Let’s get to a higher mood here.

7h00 pm - The thing hit the fan

My ankles were swollen so I had to do the do