Fast Day 4

Tuesday July 14th 2020

I am still struggling to recognize what is divine guidance and what is not. I feel like I am running around in a circle...actually, I am, I guess I should just give up and get on to the rat race, I am so "good" at it anyway.

Well I refuse to do so, I am tired of running after my tail...in any case, once I catch up with my tale, what happens next?. The way I see it, once I catch up with it, I'll give it a good bite, say ouch and start the chase again, a bit like what I am doing now...the difference being that once I catch the Divine drifted, I'll be lifted up and finally find rest, joy, Love, etc. everlasting...I think LOL

Insights Day 4

7:09 am

I woke up at 5:00 am on the dot fully rested, my mind running at a 1,000 miles an hour.

At this time I could not help but to notice that my upper quadrants are no longer aching. My ears are blocked, joints cracking.

When I performed my daily internal baptizing, I still had food from my last meal being eliminated. That goes to show me how long food may linger inside of us when the body loses its efficiency to eliminate.

I was just reading “the book of life” and thoughts of abandoning my fast rose up. Then I reminded myself that I publicly decided to be an example through Instagram so I cannot abandon now. Then my mind said: “you see, you are not fasting for the Lord but only to show others you are capable”...wow, really? Is my mind kidding me? I’ve got to find a better friend so I guess continuing to fast is the right thing to do until that nut cracker storms out of me and makes this body a temple fit for the living G.od to reside in.

Alright no, time to work on my G.od given temporary worldly task of real estate until I receive my clear divine task and purpose.

1:58 pm

I need help, my left side is hurting, I am bent, yet each time I straighten my upper body the pain diminishes greatly to a point where I barely feel it. At the same time, staying up straight is so energetically demanding...my breathing is shallow. My ears hear muffled, I have a runny nose, I have pins and needles in my spine radiating sideways. My feet are still sweating profusely yet cold...I will take this as part of the healing curve. I embrace the unknown.

3:23 pm

I went outside to be embraced by the Angel of Sun. I brought a bible with me and while I was reading, I could not help but to realize that now, subjects from the animal kingdom start to come to me and be at peace. for instance, while I was sitting on the chair reading the bible, I beatle came flying and rested upon my lap, when it was done circulating upon my lap, it peacefully flew away. I was rejoiced. Why? Because, according to my belief, we are to be in harmony with all subjects of the animal kingdom as they were created for our enjoyment, they were created for us to have dominion over them...not to injure them in any way shape or form but to care for them and treat them as our equal although we know we are the most superior beings in this realm.

9:12 pm

What a day. Although I am really tired, I am getting mentally clearer. I am bent when I think of the sacrifice I am making and straight when I envision the benefits I am to get at the finish. I hear the annoyed one telling his delightful it is for anyone who dares to get to the finish line honestly. As I am writing these words, I feel like going back to god and then that thought is immediately countered with: I gave 44 years to food indulgence...2 months given to my transformation is a bargain...let’s push through it all